This song (The Provost's Song) was written by J. Harper.
It should be sung to the "square dance song in OKLAHOMA"

A:*The faculty and provost should be friends
  *Yes, the faculty and provost can be friends
   Teaching may be in a rut
   The provost looks for things to cut
   But that's no reason why we can't be friends

A RPT **
  Faculty think they're Ivy League
  Provost thinks like Captain Queeg
  But that's no reason why we can't be friends

B: Let's put in a good word for the provost
  The job was easy when the faculty were Monks
  But if he never hires
  Everytime someone retires
  He can save some bucks by filling slots with adjuncts

C: Academic folks should stick together
   Like survivors of shipwrecks
   Provost wants to save a dollar
   Faculty want to save their necks

A RPT **
  The provost has his little list
  Of those who will and won't be missed
  But that's no reason why we can't be friends

B. The provost talks in terms of slots and units
   But not enough of them are retiring
   The people in his clique
   Make the sounds of corpo-speak
   Rightsizing is an euphonism for firing

C. Academic folks should stick together
   Like the members of a Tong
   Provost works to build consensus
   Faculty senses something wrong

A. **
   Faculty chafe at leadership
   Provost stafes them with a quip
   But thats no reason why we can't be friends

B. Lets all get involved in the process
   Don't leave the tough decisions to Big Brother
   And if we cast our vote
   To cut someone else's throat
   Our program may be one of those left over

C. Academic folks should stick together
    Like the members of the mob
    Faculty look to make things better
    Provost looks for a better job

A (Finale) ***
   Program growth is a way of life
    Provost looks for a carving knife
    Faculty are bellicose
    Provost tells them "adios"
    But that's no reason
     That's no reason
    That's no reason why we can't be friends

REMARK: J. Harper is a former department chair. He
is now in the mathematics department at the University
of Rochester. He works in homotopy theory and this song
appears with hs permission.