Index
A copy of the Liberated Staff Association | LSA NewsApril 1, 2004 |
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Friday, March 26 was designated as "Library Day" by Library Administration, and over 40 enthusiastic library staff members reported to work to clean, dust, paint, repair and otherwise spruce up the public areas of Knight Library. Library Administration generously provided pizza, drinks and an array of prizes to show their appreciation to all who volunteered.
The effort began promisingly, with various staff from a dozen departments eagerly scrubbing, wiping and washing some of the most dirt-encrusted areas of the building, and Linda Zimmerman played the duel roles of chuck wagon "cookie" (as pizzas were being handed out) and disc jockey (as she played a vast array of compact discs-from Berg's "Wozzeck" to Grand Puba's "I Like It"-to motivate everyone).
Trouble began when a few of the staff members who had come over from some of the branch libraries decided to hold an impromptu bicycle race down the center aisle on the third floor of the building. Very nearly killing himself, Erik Dahl careened into the safety rail of the mezzanine area, which forced Lara Nesselroad to veer to the right, slamming into a range of oversize books. The multiple crashes sent staff working on the first floor running up the stairs to investigate; at that point serious work came to a halt.
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By the time things were put back in place on the third floor, many folks had returned to serious clean-up work, but two members of Collection Development and Acquisitions decided to begin tossing slices of pizza at one another. Soon the cry "food fight" was heard, and at least 20 folks lunged toward the stack of pizzas that Linda only minutes before had set atop the counter, and begin hurling pepperoni, tomatoes, olives, and pizza slices across the room. Within three minutes all of the food had been turned into one or another kind of missile, and the first floor looked like a middle school cafeteria at 12:55 pm on a school day. Paul Harvey was stuck on the head by a large zucchini and had to be rushed to Sacred Heart Hospital for re-cataloging.
Linda had by this time given up on "spinning" CD's since Jean Murphy complained that she couldn't work without a serious opera in the background, and El Invisible kept demanding more accordion "music." Staff members began putting recordings they'd brought from home into the boom box, and here's where the serious trouble started. Some of you may remember Blake Scott ripping off his shirt of in the Gonzo review of 2002, but no one was prepared for the kind of shenanigans that occurred Friday afternoon in the reference area. When Raina Smith decided to play Hot Chocolate's "You Sexy Thing," four male employees of Metadata and Digital Library Services shimmied to the music, and to the hoots and hollers of their female colleagues, began to toss articles of clothing to their admiring fans. While supervisors watched in disbelief, the four intrepid terpsichorean men gave the audience what they wanted: the "full monty."
Angry cries from members of the Reference Department and an attempt by two public safety officers to apprehend the dancers brought a counter-reaction from those who'd enjoyed the show. Another fight broke out, this time erupting into a full-fledged melee. Entire book ranges were toppled over, windows were shattered and computers knocked off of tables. DPS then called upon the Eugene Police Department, who brought in their special task force and their special tank LOL. Officers pepper sprayed the reference area which caused everyone, even the officers from DPS and EPD, to fall to the ground, wheezing and coughing. It was then that FBI agents, under the direction of John Ashcroft, came into the room and began making arrests. Astonishingly, no one was arrested for disorderly conduct, destruction of property, or anything like that. Mr. Ashcroft instead took away in handcuffs University Librarian Deb Carver, Associate University Librarians Andrew Bonamici and Mark Watson, and the heads of both the Collection Development/Acquisitions Department and the Reference Department, for housing books which aid and abet terrorists. As evidence, Ashcroft's staff seized PJ6640.W57 1954, PJ6696.Z8 P4 1988, and TD 4.32/22:8081-6 B/CH.1.
In the waning hours of the afternoon, disheartened crew of volunteers then
began cleaning up the mess. As of this report, clean-up is about 60% complete.
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The University Library System took a top award from the Department of Homeland Security for its Janus login codes in Washington, D.C. on Thursday.
Secretary Tom Ridge smiled as he handed the coveted "Tommy" award to Knight Library administrators in a brief ceremony on the White House steps.
The codes are changed every six months. Prior to the events of September 11, 2001, the code had not been changed in 12 years. "9/11 really changed the way we view library security," remarked a library official, who asked that his name not be revealed for security reasons. "We began to take it much more seriously." He noted that, although the old code was known to dozens of faculty, classified staff members and student employees and had been in use daily for over a decade without any serious breach of security, the time had clearly come for some changes.
A secret committee of top administrators and librarians, whose identities are unknown even to each other, devises the new codes. Each new code is extensively tested for safety and effectiveness prior to being revealed to dozens of faculty, classified staff members and student employees at the library.
"The key thing is to swear everyone to secrecy. Once everyone promises not to tell, the code is virtually unbreakable," said the official.
In Washington, the administrators received congratulations for improving security at the library. "We are all safer today, due to the diligence and hard work of people like these," remarked Ridge, although he said he couldn't be more specific about how much safer we all are, or what threat we are all now protected from.
The library official also declined to comment extensively on the safety issue. "We just are now; we weren't before. That's all I have to say," he said, clutching the gleaming statuette tightly.
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The Metadata and Digital Library Services (formerly Catalog) department has changed its name to better reflect its new focus on preservation. The name change comes at the start of the fourth UO Libraries reorganization since Head-For-Life Carver was sworn in.
Chief Head of the newly-renamed Scriptorium, Carol Hixson, explains "The digital format is just too unstable - all the work we are doing now is likely to be lost in the future as old formats of information become unreadable and old machines unrepairable. This new focus on very stable materials and double entry means that our catalog should last for hundreds if not thousands of years with no need for expensive equipment in order to access it."
Associate for Unilateral Librarianship Mark Watson adds "We are also able to add value to our information services by helping students, who are struggling with the $2500/credit-hour tuition, to meet their basic caloric needs, and we are very proud of that. Our own employees, who have not been paid for two years, also see a benefit here, so we really see it as a win/win situation."
The changes in department procedure are obvious if one visits the south and west sides of the Knight Library. To the south, the Nike Paddock has risen where the soccer fields between the Library and Music School once stood. Thanks to a generous endowment from the Hyderabad-based company, this bucolic scene is the end of the journey for a number of Oregon-grown calves and sheep, who seem unconcerned about the future as they nibble at the buttercups and daisies recently planted in the field. To the west, in the former Golden Chain Tree garden, is a large pit. After the calves and sheep have been slaughtered and skinned by the Physical Plant's union butchers, they are roasted, and the meat served by student workers from the Check-Out Department to anyone with a UO ID card. A Food for Lane County spokesperson notes that they have seen a marked decrease in University students and employees applying for food aid since the introduction of this plan and the planting of the Victory Garden in the Memorial Quad area to the north of the Library.
Inside, the Beach Preservation Lab is now literally living up to its name as the sheep and calf skins are prepared to become vellum. The vellum, when ready, is made into shelflist and catalog cards, held within the Library, and duplicate cards, which are in a secure location within the Rocky Mountains, thanks to the assistance of the head of NORAD, a UO alum. The catalogers of the department have become adept at formulating ink from the oak galls in the Quad, and take great pride in their calligraphy as well as the speed of their cataloging. "OCLC was fast, but very expensive," says copy cataloger Hank Wilson. "This is a little slower, but more permanent and creative, and far cheaper." Catherine Flynn, Executive Chef Assistant to the Scriptorium Head, adds that the vellum boils up nicely for glue but also makes a nutritious soup. "A few catalogers used to surreptitiously nibble on their vellum. Now we just issue them a mug of soup every morning, and the incidence of toothmarks on shelflist cards has declined by 84.13 per cent."
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The former Image Services Center space has meanwhile been turned into another "cataloging" area, as staff from the newly-reorganized former Very Special Collections department transcribe the newspaper information, again onto Oregon-produced vellum. "Our customers really like the ease of use of the finished product, and we are glad to collaborate with the Scriptorium on this," said Director-for-Life James Fox. "Of course, our own collections here in the Old Books and Boring Archives Annex show how durable vellum can be. We hope to secure a nation-wide market for both blank and pre-scribed Oregon-produced vellum as other libraries realize what a dead-end digitization is."
Stock raisers in the state of Oregon, meanwhile, applaud the University's forward-thinking Library reorganization and the generosity of the Hyderabad donors. "No one could afford to buy our products before they stepped up to the plate."
At a specially-convened All-Library Staff Meeting held in the Knight Library Browsing Room early this week, University Librarian Deb Carver presented the first of several Quick-Win Initiatives to be implemented over the 2004/05 academic year. Flanked by beaming AULs Andrew Bonamici and Mark Watson, Carver modestly deflected the spontaneous murmurs, gasps and exclamations that greeted the first in a series of announcements. "We are delighted to announce Oregon's first pilot project to offer academic mentorships for middle-school and internships for high-school students," said Carver. "The UO Library System may be the state's richest information resource, but with this initiative, it also represents a powerful skill-building opportunity for area youths. We've focused on developing a win-win collaborative relationship with local school districts that, in recent years, have been forced to eliminate electives in sports and the humanities as well as most vocational opportunities. Young interns may spend up to 20 hours a week in the Library through the school year and transition into fulltime summer internships with job rotation possibilities. Yes, much of the work will be physically challenging but that's designed into the program to benefit out-of-shape youth. It's a great way to get kids away from their televisions and back into the Library! We are calling it "Project Kid-Lib."
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Associate for Unilateral Librarianship Mark Watson offered a few supporting comments. "This is still the greatest country on earth!" he enthused. "In an era of increasingly limited fiscal resources, rampant outsourcing and few work training opportunities, the Knight Library is, as always, on the cutting edge of innovative, collaborative programming. With the new Kid-Lib initiative, we have stepped outside the box and are redefining conventional library services. These youngsters will be assured of a quality, simulated work setting that will equip them with useful skills for life and future careers!"
Laura Wiley enthusiastically concurred. "This is going to revolutionize circulation standards!" she intoned. "Now that basically everything circulates to just about anybody in the State of Oregon, circ desk responsibilities are a snap! Why, with the implementation of an effective training model, we will be able to mainstream even elementary age students into fully-operational staff-in-training! I don't see why similar models can't be developed in stacks, binding prep, interlibrary loan and serials checkin. Mary Clayton in Law has already given us the go-ahead to pilot a cadre of the younger interns to train in legal looseleafing! Heck, you don't even need to know how to read to do that!"
Carver deflected criticism of any impact of the new initiative on University student staffing and classified staff, pointing out that although LSA 1 and LT 1 positions are likely to be phased out over the next biennium, this will occur by natural attrition anyway. "Besides, we're providing a service that will eventually stimulate employment in other sectors," she emphasized. "By opening our stacks, circulation desks and technical services departments to young Oregonians throughout the Eugene community, we're helping to empower the state's Future Citizens while charting a course that we expect many of the state's other academic libraries will follow. It's a low-cost way to maximize the value of our employment skills to everyone in Oregon."
Rumors that the anticipated success of the program would spawn a subsequent and related Initiative in the form of a daycare facility for student, staff and faculty offspring were finally confirmed. "It's true, the Browsing Room is underutilized," AUL Andrew Bonamici concurred. "We considered leasing the space to various interested groups for intuitive arts and mind/body work but decided it was too unstable and trendy. Daycare will give us a reliable, steady source of cashflow that can be dedicated to underwriting serials subscription costs and will provide another training opportunity for our Youth Internship program. In fact, we are hoping to integrate this with programs in Early Child Development in the College of Education. Just consider this one more fruitful collaboration between campus departments and a new adventure in resource-sharing!"
As well as featuring upcoming LSA events, we'd like to get the word out about events staff are involved in that might be of interest to co-workers. LSA will not be held responsible for the legality of your event. Please send a signed release with your event information.
LSA EVENTS
As you know, the Supplies and Services budget no longer exists. Linda Zimmerman will be issuing each employee one pencil per year and one pen every six months. We will once again be tying rubber bands together if they break. Staff must buy their own floppy discs, if applicable. Computer upgrades will be pro-rated from staff salaries.
To help with the purchase of these pens, pencils, rubber-bands, and the one box of paperclips per branch allowed per year, the Library Staff Association is chipping in with a fundraiser, the "Men of the UO Libraries" academic-year calendar. To encourage Men to participate, our "teaser" is our first Man of the Libraries, Mr. April of 2004. We hope to feature a different Man every month. When all nine male library staff have been photographed, we will move on to a two-year calendar featuring seven Women per month.
LSA expects that with the level of charm and fitness currently present in the Libraries, this should be a big seller, and hopes to finance the purchase of five boxes of pencils, four boxes of pens, and one box each of rubber bands and paperclips. Contact the LSA Ways and Means committee to reserve your copy of the calendars now!
Join your Library Staff Association for LSA Night at the Opera. Lawrence Crumb will join LSA as tour guide when we go to hear "Don Giovanni" on Friday, May 7, 2004 at the famed Metropolitan Opera House in New York. Matthew Polenzani will be singing the title role, with Alexandra Deshorties as Donna Anna and Solveig Kringelborn as Donna Elvira. The orchestra is conducted by Andrew Davis. We'll be sitting in the orchestra section, and tickets are $195.00 per person. Solvieg will join us for a celebratory repast afterwards (allow $500 per person) before we retire to our wing of the Waldorf-Astoria. Complimentary seating on the elegantly-appointed LSA jet is limited, so contact Leslie Bennett soon to reserve your space.
Just a reminder that Library Staff Association dues have increased this
year. Be sure to pay your $1000 to treasurer Stan Hall beforehand if you plan to
go on the NYC trip. Remember, Library Administration will match each membership
with $500. Your Library Staff Association works for you!
NON-LSA EVENTS
David Landazuri, of the Library's Scriptorium Department, invites all to Accordian Bowling Night on Friday, April 2, 2004. His band, Accrid Accordians, will be hosting the event at a time and location we can't disclose here for national security reasons. If you have an accordian you long to bowl, or would like to wrest someone else's accordian from their hands and bowl it once and for all, contact David and give the code word.
Join Neil Goldschmidt in the Knight Library Browsing Room on Thursday, April 8,
from 3-4:30 p.m. to discuss the revised version of the University Libraries
Mission Statement. Mr. Goldschmidt was recently hired as a consultant to
revise the Core Values statement and to write the Mission statement, and
Head-for-Life Carver says she expects the results to fully justify his $1.8
million fee.
This month: Mr. April
Turn-ons: The rain, scholarship, blind dates with his main squeeze, jaguars, grave responsibilities.
Turn-offs: Carpet glue fumes, overdue, stolen or vandalized library books, neocolonial warmongering.
Role models: The Invisible Man, The Visible Man, Mexican wrestlers, Rene Magritte, Bicycle Woman.
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