Alexis de
Tocqueville (1805-59) was a French philosopher and political essayist. He
visited the United States in 1831 and wrote one of the most famous commentaries
on American life and culture, Democracy
in America. Some of his most intriguing comments concern women, the family
and gender relations. Here are some examples:
In America the independence of woman is irrecoverably lost in the bonds
of matrimony. If an unmarried woman is less constrained there than elsewhere, a
wife is subjected to stricter obligations. The former makes her father's house
an abode of freedom and of pleasure; the latter lives in the home of her
husband as if it were a cloister. Yet these two different conditions of life
are perhaps not so contrary as may be supposed, and it
is natural that the American women should pass through the one to arrive at the
other.
The very circumstances that render matrimonial fidelity more obligatory
also render it more easy. In aristocratic countries
the object of marriage is rather to unite property than persons;....
It cannot be wondered at if the conjugal tie which unites the fortunes of the
pair allows their hearts to rove; this is the result of the nature of the
contract. When, on the contrary, a man always chooses a wife for himself
without any external coercion or even guidance, it is generally a conformity of
tastes and opinions that brings a man and a woman together, and this same
conformity keeps and fixes them in close habits of intimacy.
In no country has such constant care been taken as in America to trace
two clearly distinct lines of action for the two sexes and to make them keep
pace one with the other, but in two pathways that are always different.
American women never manage the outward concerns of the family or conduct a
business or take a part in political life; nor are they, on the other hand,
ever compelled to perform the rough labor of the fields or to make any of those
laborious efforts which demand the exertion of physical strength. No families
are so poor as to form an exception to this rule. If, on the one hand, an
American woman cannot escape from the quiet circle of domestic employments, she
is never forced, on the other, to go beyond it.
* * *
Nor have the Americans ever supposed that one consequence of democratic
principles is the subversion of marital power or the confusion of the natural
authorities in families. They hold that every association must have a head in
order to accomplish its object, and that the natural head of the conjugal
association is man.
* * *
I do not hesitate to avow that although the women of the United States are
confined within the narrow circle of domestic life, and their situation is in
some respects one of extreme dependence, I have nowhere seen woman occupying a
loftier position; and if I were asked, now that I am drawing to the close of
this work, in which I have spoken of so many important things done by the Americans,
to what the singular prosperity and growing strength of that people ought
mainly to be attributed, I should reply: To the superiority of their women.